I am writing this letter to you so that I can say goodbye one last time. It has taken me a long time to realize that I don't need friends like you. It has taken me a long time to realize that you are not my friend after all.
I found you when I was feeling alone and frightened. You took advantage of my vulnerability, my naivete, used it to secure a position in my life. For so many years now I have placed you on a pedestal above me. I have nurtured you while I was hungry. I have sheltered you while I was cold. I have coddled you while I was sick. I have given you my undivided attention while others waited, or moved on.
You company is no longer a consolation. I see now how you consume my time. Every waking moment you are foremost in my mind. I avoid friends and family to be with you. I postpone work and chores to be with you. I suspend my life to be with you, at my own expense.
So I ask myself now, why I am willing to yield to you? Why am I willing to give you the energy and attention I do not give myself? Why am I willing to ensure your growth while ignoring my own? Why am I willing to listen to you instead of my body, my spirit, and my wisdom? Why am I willing to go to the end of the earth, day or night, rain or shine, to appease you? Why do I allow you to control my life while your presence makes me suffer?
The truth is, I am not.
Of all the promises you made and never kept, of all you lies and deceitful ways, of all you manipulation and maligning, I cannot expect that you will leave with grace. So when you knock on my door ask to share a cup of coffee or tea, do not be surprised when I tell you, "Go away, you are not my friend. You have been replaced by a new best friend -- me."